I Keep On Falling

This is a little long for Bluesky/Mastodon, so it goes here.

I fell twice in the past two months and it got me thinking about how people reacted.

Fall A didn't hurt me. Someone definitely saw me fall and get back up, and didn't say or do anything. He was a bit far away to talk to me when I actually fell.

Fall B hurt, but I wasn't seriously injured. I thought people were close enough to hear my yelp of surprise as I went down, but I'm not sure in hindsight. I think I looked shaken after getting up and continuing on my way, but I know from experience that people have difficulty reading my expressions.

Both falls happened in daylight, outdoors, in a place where relative safety would be expected. However, past experience tells me that not everyone there is all that polite.

So a couple days ago, I asked Bluesky and Mastodon if they would stop to ask if someone who fell and got up was okay, if it depended on the circumstances, and - since I was getting in my head about Autism stuff - if eye contact made a difference.

I'm not convinced I got informative answers about eye contact since my followers skew neurodivergent and they would be aware that lack of eye contact doesn't necessarily mean avoidance. The people I run into every day are more likely to be neurotypical.

Most people who responded to my question, said they would ask, but not everyone. And some of the situational answers made me think about other factors. I'm queer, femme, and alt, and would stop to ask someone in any of those categories even if they're not in the same subculture. I'm not sure I would feel comfortable or safe approaching a man much larger than me, and I realize a man might worry about seeming overbearing if the person who fell is a woman and she looks okay.

But I also agree with the person who noted that looking okay is not necessarily being okay.

It's not as simple as I thought it was when I was hauling myself back up and feeling my feelings about my body becoming increasingly unreliable. I think that's what most of the problem is, and getting fixated on people being jerks in this particular location is beside the point.

Good news is, my neurologist doesn't think it's neurological. My therapist pointed out that it could just be getting in a rush and not paying enough attention, so it may be possible to prevent more falls from happening.